What happened? Where did the simple kindness go? Have we lost sight of what matters most? Is participating in common courtesies gone? Are our lives so busy, so fractured that thinking past the next minute has blinded the possibilities of the unknown?
This Blog is not meant to be a whiny, self-loathing moment of anger. Instead, I see it as an opportunity to voice my opinion about something that I think is fundamentally broken in our society. In today’s ‘everything I need is in my palm of my hand’ environment’, creates the sense that whatever I am working on now is more important than the time it takes to make a human connection. This isn’t a newsflash or something that suddenly plopped in front of my consciousness. It is something that has annoyed the sh*t out of me for some time, but I chose to take the high road and assume people are, well, just busy.
Where is this negative nelly attitude coming from? Let me share with you a quick story. As you may know, I recently released the book The Crucible Gift: 5 Lessons from Authentic Leaders Who Thrive in Adversity. I've been fortunate to have many of the world's top leadership experts or well-respected leaders write a recommendation for the book. One aspect of my marketing strategy was to send several of the individuals interviewed on my podcast a free copy of the book. Essentially, doubling down on great recommendations combined with influencer support.
Thus, two-weeks ago, I have wrote 50 customized emails to individuals who appeared on the podcast over the previous three years. Quick summary, the book is a summarization of 140 interviews from my podcast, Executives After Hours. If you have ever listened to an episode, I am fun, engaging, present, respectful and curious. After the interviews, I often thought, 'that was a great conversation and would love to meet face-to-face at some point.' Back to the emails. Here is sample email that I sent to one of the interviewees.
I hope this email finds you well. Since I interviewed you a lot has changed. You may know most of this already, but just in case. My family and I have relocated and now live just outside Dubai, UAE. It has been a bit of adjustment, but we thought it was important for our kids to experience life outside the U.S. We only plan to be here another year or so.
The other big change is my new book recently launched. It is titled, The Crucible’s Gift: 5 lessons from Authentic Leaders Who Thrive in Adversity. It has been recommended by several top leadership experts (see attached list). To celebrate this, me, my wife and our four kids (all under 10) will be driving 6,500-miles this summer. This may be a book itself.
The reason that I am reaching out is that the book is based on what I found in my podcast and what happens when a leader embraces their adversity moments. I think this is really important for corporate culture. Though you are not directly in the book, our interview had an influence. I want to provide you with a free digital copy of the book.
It is my belief that at different points in one's life you need to lean on your professional network. This is one of those times for me and it is not something that comes naturally. Call it the good ole Irish Catholic in me. Please have a read of the introduction and If you enjoy it and think someone else would benefit from reading it, I would greatly appreciate if you could pass on the word. Please direct them to Amazon to grab a copy. Finally, if you happen to have any media contacts I would be full of gratitude for an introduction.
To me, this is a fundamental breakdown of basic kindness. This moment only takes a minute and if you can imagine how hard it is to write a book, put it out there for the world to judge, a simple thank you would go a long way. Even if they thought the book sucked....it doesn't matter. The gesture is what is importat. The art of simple gratitude is lost. The ability to stop and look through some else's lens seems to be a tall ask for most.
I am sure I am coming across a bit whiny. That is not the intent. I am over it...life is full of disappointment and knowing how to frame it is what is important. It is the fact that whatever reason the other 47 didn’t respond, it truly is a simple, short moment of gratitude that results in a simple positive experience.
Just remember, simple gratitude for someone else's efforts goes a long way to creating micro-moments of meaning that result in a lifetime of positive memories. Taking the time to say thank you doesn't mean you must do business or read the book. It just means you are not a dick and you respect the other person's life as much as you respect yours. We are ALL on a journey. We are ALL constructing our own reality, but we can ALL help another person create a positive meaningful moment.
James Kelley, Ph.D.
www.drjameskelley.com
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